The Art of Self Love

Love comes naturally to some of us, and for some of us it does not. Some of us give love to all, and some of us keep our hearts locked away. For a few unlucky souls among us, love eludes us; we are unloved and live in a lonely world. But no matter our situation in life, there is always one love we can have, and that is self love.

Self love is not an easy thing for some people, but it is important that we all have it for our own well-being. If a person is not happy with whom they are, they will never be content with life. To love oneself, a person needs to like whom they are, and admire themselves for their skills, personality, accomplishments, and even failures and their ability to overcome them.  One must realize, that in the end, it is not what others think of us that matters; it is what we think of ourselves. We are the only people who truly know who we are, and we will only ever be happy by being what we want to be.

Finding confidence and self love has been a long struggle for me. Over my life I have been bullied, used, abused, abandoned, and played with to the point I would break down and cry from hate for myself. But step by step, day by day I have recovered and healed.  Family and new friends would try to compliment me, reassure me, that I was smart, beautiful, or loved but I could never believe them because I did not feel that way about myself.  A person may open another’s eyes with facts, but no one can make another love himself; it is a transformation that must take place within that person’s own heart.

I listened when others pointed out my awards, my academic achievements and the people who loved me. For some time, I just brushed it aside, but then I learned to look at life differently. For once, I tried not to see through the others’ eyes, but through my own.  I would look at a piece of my artwork and think, “the color is beautiful”, or “I’m getting better” rather than “the shading is wrong.”  I would look in the mirror and smile, and say “I really look beautiful” and not think “look at those tired eyes and zits, I’m hideous.”

I looked inside, and found that there really are good things about me. I am a good person, a beautiful person-- and no one can tell me otherwise. I have a kind, loving heart and am empathetic and sympathetic of others needs. I stand by my friends no matter what, even when they are depressing or irritating and hard to tolerate, I stay. I care about those I love dearly, and want to help them the best I can. For this, I have saved two lives from potential suicide.  I found also that I have a brilliant mind. I create beautiful artwork, and writing that can stir emotions within people’s hearts.  I learn and do well in my class at school, consistently staying in the top ten percent of my class.  I am determined and ambitious. Some people settle for the simple things in life, but I dream big. I dream to make change in this world, to share my ideas and support causes, and somehow, make a difference.

I could go on, but there is no need. I am happy with myself, my simple and modest character. I may not be strong, athletic, outgoing, charismatic, or musically inclined but I do have traits about me that make me lovable too. I am a beautiful, unique person. Somehow, some day, I hope to guide others that they too, may feel beautiful. 

The Art of Self Love (c) Maranda L. Scott

Photos (c) their respectful owners.